Sunday, June 8, 2025
Een emailvirus?
News Headline: Another Email Virus?
I've received this important warning from off-shore sources deep in the
Caribbean. Be alert: This is REALLY bad news! If you receive an e-mail with a
subject line of "Badtimes," delete it immediately WITHOUT reading it.
This is the
most dangerous E-mail virus yet.
- It will completely re-write your hard drive. Not
only that, but it will scramble any disks that are even close to your computer.
- It
also demagnetizes the strips on all your credit cards, reprograms your ATM
access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR and uses subspace field
harmonics to scratch any CDs you try to play.
- It will recalibrate your refrigerator's
coolness setting so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles.
- It will give your
ex-boy/girlfriend your new phone number.
- This virus will mix antifreeze into your
fish tank.
- It will drink all your soda and leave dirty socks on the coffee table when
you are expecting company. It will hide your car keys when you are late for work
and interfere with your car radio so that you hear only static while stuck in traffic.
- When executed "Badtimes" will also give you nightmares about circus midgets. It
will replace your shampoo with Nair and your Nair with Rogaine.
- "Badtimes" will
give you Dutch Elm disease and brown patch. If the "Badtimes" mail message is
opened in a Windows 95 environment it will leave the toilet seat up and leave your
hairdryer plugged in dangerously close to a full bathtub.
- It will not only remove the
forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, but it will also refill your skim
milk with whole milk. It is insidious and subtle....
- It is dangerous and terrifying to
behold. It is also a rather interesting shade of mauve. These are just a few signs.
Be afraid. Be very, very afraid.
Bron: http://www.quantumrealms.com
©2002-2005 W.v.Ravenstein
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